"Sanctum": Freudian's Delight

Hey! Back from a free screening of the new James Cameron film, Sanctum. The way I got a pass to see it was completely random.

I just happened to be at Bluestockings, and they just happened to have a stack of free passes on the counter, next to flyers for queer dances and maybe a menstrual cup or two.

Maybe it makes sense. I mean..."wet cave"..."feminist bookstore"...ok, ok, I'll shut up about the vaginas already.

Well, disregarding the wet, tight cave for the moment...there isn't much of a plot, but it seems to be vaguely about mothers and fathers. First things first: we have a blonde kid and an obnoxious yuppie competing over a hot babe who wears simply amazing, water-proof makeup. Meanwhile, down in the snatch, is a weary woman who doesn't wear makeup. Guess who dies first? I'm not going to tell you, because that would be spoilers! I'll give you a hint: not the blonde kid.

So, the blonde kid's Dad is down there too, and they bond, but first people die a lot. The yuppie and the blonde kid also whine a lot. The emotional peak of the film involves bat shit.

Yeah.



This movie is not particularly bright, in any sense of the word. It is marginally smarter than Avatar, in that it doesn't utilize retina-scorching Lisa Frank colors. Yeah, I know you loved Avatar, but the constant neon blues and purples made me want to puke. Here, we have a palette of browns, blues, and blacks. And sometimes reds.

Very nasty, effective reds.

I would have liked to see more of Judes (when a character names a part of the cave "St.Judes' Cathedral", you know they're all in some deep shit), and less of the whiny folks. I mean, I realize that I'm supposed to identify with the whiny people, particularly the blonde emo surfer guy, but I mostly wanted Daddy Carl (I mean, Frank...boy these characters are forgettable...) to yell at them more. As somebody who also doesn't wear makeup, I felt in solidarity with Judes. She was the only REAL woman...spelunker...in the movie, and she seemed totally bad ass. Not like the other woman with the water-proof makeup, who apparently climbed mountains but needed tips on how to rappel?

What the fuck, you have to climb down mountains too, right?

Overall, Sanctum is an effectively entertaining movie that gets the job done, but is nothing special. Most of the characters are morons, but I enjoyed being angry at them, because they eventually got their comeuppance.

I give it 2 stars.

1 star for "killing stupid people"
1 star for "floating underwater all-pretty like"